Mom Life

Wow how can I already say our boy is two and a half months old! Okay I admit that I actually wanted to write this when he was a month old but hey, one thing you learn when you have a newborn is not everything gets done when you want it done. 

The days have been flying by, especially since Hayden has started to sleep through the night! 6-8 hours to be exact! Those first 6 or so weeks though are torture on your body and mind while learning how to handle a newborn on very little sleep. I had a foggy head many many days. 

I have felt overwhelmed with love. I have also felt overwhelmed with responsibility. When you choose to breastfeed you are literally chained to the baby (as I am feeding on demand, and some days Hayden demands A LOT). I get to watch my darling husband go to the gym, go to the store and make the big bucks at work. His life, while it has changed drastically, has not changed like mine has and that was not easy at first. I felt some major jealousy when I watched him head off to concerts and out to meet with friends. That being said I could literally stare at Hayden all day and be completely satisfied. 

Some days I feel like I am being touched 95% of the day between Hayden, Alex, and Murphy. As someone who really values alone time this was not an easy adjustment. Even though Hayden is the cutest baby I’ve ever laid eyes on some days he just won’t sleep unless he’s in my arms of laying on my chest. Plus there are all the feeding sessions throughout the day. I am definitely spending maybe a little extra time in the shower at night and trying to nap some days when Hayden will go down in his crib.

The other big change in the first weeks was the volume of my little boy’s crying. At first we nicknamed him “squeaks” because he would just make the most adorable noises- now he has this gut wrenching cry that makes me want to cry right along with him. So when Alex can’t calm him it rips my heart out. Of course as soon as he smells his momma he immediately gets quiet. It both melts my heart and puts into perspective how much babies need their moms at the beginning. The weight of that responsibility is heavy and hard some days as I want to spend some time- showering, cooking dinner, cleaning, grocery shopping, and maybe taking a nap. What I want means nothing compared to what he wants and needs. I’m getting more and more used to that as the weeks go by remembering this time when he is this little will go by way too fast. 

I have been amazed at how quickly he is changing from one day to the next. I blink and he is already over 11 pounds and 24 inches long . What???? He is getting the cutest chubby cheeks, and gone are the days of skinny chicken legs which are now filled with yummy rolls. 

Alex and I are learning more than ever how to work as a team and that makes me more thankful than ever that God gave me Alex to be my teammate, I couldn’t do this without him. He is still learning how to change a diaper quick enough to not get peed on but he is the BEST at getting baby to sleep at night- props for all those walks back and forth down the hallway. Plus he is still taking Murphy man to the park and making sure he isn’t a totally forgotten child.

This parenting thing is something we are learning every day and I’m sure we will have many many triumphs mixed in with mistakes but I’m glad we get to do it together.

We are both so in love with this new addition to our family and cannot give him enough kisses during the day. I have been melting into a puddle watching what a sweet dad Alex is. I knew he would be but seeing it in front of my eyes is just on another level!


Hayden’s highlights so far:

  • No more jaundice!
  • Gaining weight like a champion
  • Really enjoys getting baths
  • Loves finding our faces
  • Getting some serious neck control
  • Loves to smile- especially after a good sleep at night 
  • Making cooing noises that are just the best 
  • Sleeping through the night! 
  • Takes a bottle so we have been on a few outings like rugby match and out on our first date as parents 
  • Rolls! On the legs and arms and delicious chubby cheeks
  • Loves to go on walks outside and look at EVERYTHING.

Bringing Home a Baby

I kept thinking I was prepared for motherhood. After all I have been a nanny since I was 18- kind of the same thing right? Haha…

Bringing Hayden home was a mix of relief, excitement, and nerves. I didn’t get to just buzz in a midwife to check his temperature, or see if that weird spot there was normal. It was about to just be me and Alex and this tiny little baby who was totally dependent on us. Not to mention getting back to our other little guy Murphy after 5 days away in the hospital.

One thing I had not anticipated nearly enough as I should have were the hormones- the crazy cry inducing hormones that make me look like a weirdo when I cried because Alex ate lunch before me. Yeah those kind of nutso hormones. Plus there is the overwhelming knowledge that I am the most important person in this tiny humans life- the feeding machine. It kind of didn’t dawn on me just how often this baby needs to eat. I am the 24/7 drive through now and thats a big responsibility. Plus breastfeeding is not as easy as it may look- plus its a new concept for him too so we needed to get into the “flow” of things pun intended. I cried a lot the first week I will not lie, it was harder than I expected and the perfectionist in me was not getting everything right.

We had only been home for three days when I came down with the dreaded MASTITIS! Fever, chills, and yes a nice blocked milk duct to make me feel horrible. No I had not anticipated this part of the journey either and no one really warned me enough about it- yes I had heard the word and knew the symptoms but I was in agony. My milk supply was greater than the demand and my body is still working that equation out. Thank the Lord for antibiotics! The mastitis fever brought on a lovely bunch of cold sores not to mention the stress brought on the WORST dermatitis I have ever had on my hands. Needless to say my body has been very run down. I am finally feeling more like myself again but it has taken two weeks since the birth of the most handsome little man I have ever laid my eyes on (okay tied with his daddy).

Motherhood is not like nannying- I knew this but now I REALLY REALLY know this. Alex and I are getting the hang of things and have worked out a pretty tight night time routine to maximize sleep for both of us. I could not have gotten through any of this without him holding my hand and trying to laugh at my crazy hormone tears. I have never loved him more.

Now onto little Hayden. He is just doing fabulous- thankfully he cant comment on my nasty looking lips (the worst part of that being I cannot kiss him, so Alex has been doing double the kisses for me), he is a super sleeper and definitely likes to eat. He also loves to just look around and take in his new surrounding with those big eyes, we are still debating if they will be blue or brown by the end of this year. One of his best qualities so far is he is easy to settle (unless there is gas) and he really doesn’t cry unless we are changing him or he is ready to eat. Hayden is gaining weight which makes this mommy very happy because I cant wait to see some chunky legs and cheeks he is now over 6 pounds YIPPE. Murphy has taken to this tiny human too and loves to lick his feet and be very close all the time- sometimes too close. Watching Alex being so taken with Hayden makes my heart swell to abnormal sizes and I can imagine hearts just floating around my head. He is an amazing daddy and so attentive to us both.

I know these newborn days are fleeting and that the lack of sleep will only last for so long- I am doing my best to savor the moments when Hayden is just quietly sleeping on my chest because like anything in life it wont be like this forever. He is so tiny and cute, Alex keeps saying he doesn’t want him to grow, of course I do because I cant wait to see all the milestones he will hit over the next months and years, but it is hard to imagine him not being so itty bitty. Having a child is really the most amazing thing even when everything seems so overwhelming looking down at that adorable face puts everything into perspective. The joy he brings me will always outweigh any of nights when I feel exhausted and frustrated.

Parenthood is going to be such an adventure and I am looking forward to talking about it and being real about the parts that are awesome and the parts that really kind of suck. Right now I am going to go stare at my son for approximately a millions hours and keep letting my love for him and his dad grow and grow because I never knew how much my heart could expand in the span of two weeks.