A Few Things I’ve Learned About Marriage and Being a Wife

I usually wake up before Alex in the mornings and I still look over at him and really can’t believe I am blessed enough to call him my husband- I hope that never goes away.

On Marriage:

  • Compromise is key
    • example: Alex has had to come to terms with the 10 million decorative pillows on the bed and I have learned that Fantasy Rugby trades sometimes need to be made during a date.
  • Sacrifices must be made
    • example: my body heat is best put to use by warming Alex’s freezing hands at any time of the day or night and Alex has sacrificed some of his favorite jackets and t-shirts for my love of oversized clothes and need to be comfy.
  • Communication is essential
    • example: Alex “We do NOT need any more pillows for the bed” Me “You do NOT understand decorating at all do you?” Alex “I UNDERSTAND that our pillow collection is now in direct competition with your shoe collection.” Me “well you never know when you’re going to need a good gladiator sandal or a fancy decorative pillow, best be prepared!”
  • Surprises keep things fun
    • example: My favorite surprise so far was being shaken awake in the middle of the night to check for a snake in our bed only to find some suspicious lint under the blankets. Alex loved when I surprised him with a couple new pillows for the couch downstairs.
  • Understanding is important
    • example: I have learned that 45 minutes in the bathroom is not only normal but is the only way to catch up on current news and reddit. Alex has come to understand that five outfit changes is the minimum requirement, even if its just down to the coffee shop (usually this means finding the right color sweat pants to go with my college t-shirts.)


On Being a Wife:

  • Choose your battles
    • Since I have almost fallen into the toilet only twice in the middle of the night, I have given up on asking Alex to put the toilet seat down. Alex grew up in a family with three boys- maybe this is just a bridge too far.
  • Cooking is a daily occurrence
    • I guess I never really realized that in order to eat I actually have to cook- a lot. Did you know there are three meals in a day?
  • Weddings and engagements have a whole new meaning
    • I swear every time I see a friend get married or engaged my eyes start to get wet. I guess becoming a wife has made me go weepy.
  • Keeping the house clean isn’t nearly as hard as I thought
    • I imagined a feather duster constantly attached to my hand- in reality a little dirt/dust never hurt nobody! Plus Alex volunteered to get the wet food out of the sink and into the trash so I have far less gagging episodes than I did when I lived alone.
  • Babies on the brain
    • We don’t want to start a family yet so keep the excitement to a minimum. But every time I see a baby I have to resist the urge to buy teeny tiny baby shoes and grow a tiny human.


Obviously I have found funny things about each of these topics but they really are some of the important things I have learned from marriage so far. Although the pillow topic is very real- I may need an intervention but I have a very patient husband who diverts my eyes from decorative pillows whenever he can.

Being married to Alex has been my greatest joy, God has truly blessed me with exactly the man I needed. I know we will continue to learn new things as we get some more years under our belts and add children moving to the mix. But for now we are laughing a lot and falling more in love each day and that is just the best!


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